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a triangle love story

“If he asks me, I will join” – I remember telling a friend, about joining a startup, in case the founder, who was someone I looked up to, ever calls me. I had no such indication that they might even need me. But that was a secret wish. Like those Malayalam movie dialogue sort of “avan vilichaal njaan irangi pokum” (“if he calls me, I will elope with him”). And like in such movies, I never asked if they would need me. I had daydreams about starting a startup for a long time, making some very detailed plans as mental exercises – it was almost like a game I play or sort of entertaining myself. Or like a prisoner planning escape routes. But never had the courage enough to actually try even any baby steps towards any such ideas, to test if any of those had market potential or any such. Since this was like a fantasy world building, in whatever small ways I practiced how this might work out – like kids playing house. I used to think that anything I do, I run it like I am running my own busine...
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learnings #4

1. Are you closing the gap (with competition) vs opening the gap (going ahead of competition)?  >> A question from a mentor. Are you catching up, or are you running ahead? A good frame to evaluate where our time goes.  2. "I want you to do this". "I have high expectations from you". "You can do this". "We have to be world's best in this". "Who needs to do what by when". "Show me the code" >> I was noting down the usual phrases by the same mentor. Direct expectation setting, raising the aspiration, clarifying the vague asks, going to the ground truths than accepting the abstract picture.  3. Don't select people like yourself for the team. Choose people who challenge you, make you think differently, smarter than you.  >> Yet another mentor. He was a tiny bit upset that I managed to steal someone, but I was asking him permission (after the fact). The advise is something to be kept in mind.  4. Don't ...
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the inner game

I haven’t played tennis enough number of times to say I am even a beginner but picked up this book – “Inner game of Tennis” by Timothy Gallwey, since it kept coming up. It is a short book, but useful to add to the mental models. Core idea is that there is a “thinking” self (Self 1) and a “doing” self (Self 2) – when the thinking self tries to constantly instruct the doing self, we tend to produce substandard outcomes. When we are able to suppress the thinking and do unconsciously, then we produce a “flow” that feels like someone is “playing out of their mind” – there is no mind then. It is that the Self 1 is the one that doubts, fears, analyzes, criticizes constantly and that interferes with the action which Self 2 is supposed to perform. Elite players have figured out a way to focus on the present, on the next point, next serve, next ball and stopped worrying about the last mistake or the next set. I think it contrasts with “Thinking Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman – that talked abo...
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status games

My reading habit (books) has plummeted. Absolutely crashed, in the bins. I hope I can recover that some day soon. But this is about the last book I read, almost a year back, which has stayed with me. It is “Impro – Improvisation and theatre” by Keith Johnstone. I had picked this up after its reference kept coming up in different places, like one of the books given to new joinees in the company, Palantir. While it is about how the author (a theatre acting coach, teaching improvisational comedy) found a way to teach people to let go of the fear and act with abandon, I think the lessons can have lasting impact in everything we do every day. Basic premise is – everything we do in company of people is playing a “status game”. Every movement, every inflection of a muscle, eye contact, posture, voice – everything is transmitting a status signal – that we are high status in some situation or low status in others. Slouching to indicate low status, puffing out the chest to indicate high status. ...
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learnings #3

1. People good with AI. Slow, deliberate people. Patient. Good with language. Can write. Reads. Intentional. Conscientious. Wanting to build good systems. Good at some craft and art. Researches. Curious. Builds. Plays.  >> Some theories, about who might use AI better. Remains to be seen if this pans out. I am seeing a lot more examples of such people up close and personal these days and hope to write more about this soon.  2. Stories evoke emotion, emotions make memories.  >> Why story telling is important life skill  3. Lay down the complex workflow and then think about higher level abstractions that can simplify it.  >> Something I need to learn even more how to do  4. Language is imprecise. Now use that to think about LLMs and its applications. Maybe some imprecision is ok to get a surprisingly good unexpected outcome, but other times we need to watch it to get to the intended outcome.  >> Imprecise nature of language – what ...
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last messi is the best messi

Today is Messi’s farewell match in Argentina shirt. Few weeks back, when the international retirement news came out, my reaction was that this might be the beginning of the end for me as football fan. There is a precedence to it. I stopped watching any form of cricket after Sachin retired. Slowly the interest died and ever since haven’t watched any match. Like many Malayalees, Argentina and Messi (and Maradona before) was a “vikaaram” (a sentiment or an emotion). That beautiful journey ends today. As a kid, I used to play an entire imaginary world cup, all by myself. With a tennis ball sometimes. Making up rules as to what counts as a goal. One such world cup was played like this - I would kick the ball to the slanting tiled roof, one can’t predict how it will come down and when it comes down, hit the goal on the volley in one touch, two touch, three touch. I used to play group games, quarter finals, semis and finals and declare winner like this. Or play an entire tournament for hours ...
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learnings #2

1. Self destruction is coded into us, at cell level? This is why court danger, to feel alive. >> I am not sure if this is true, but noted this down to know capacity for destruction is in us. Destroying, hurting, lashing out to feel alive might be what some people do. 2.Agency - remembering you can move. >> High Agency is a concept that is fascinating. Why some people act, some do not. 3. Telescope and microscope - how to view things. Long term and short term. >> Helpful analogy. Zoom in, Zoom out. 4. "Pressure does not exist, it is an excuse. If you just think about enjoying yourself and having fun, there is no pressure." >> From a 19 year old, Lamine Yamal. Living his life large, at the center of attention. They say this is how Gen Z is. 5. To develop agency, ask - "What's the stupidest easiest one thing you could do to make even a little progress?" >> Agency again. To keep moving. 6. When you need to converge on the single ri...
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