random ramblings

My spotify usage must have spiked in last few weeks. One reason is this – a few accounts who post covers of old forgotten songs got into my Instagram algorithm and I keep adding them into spotify queue for later listen and some of them have been looping ever since. Readers of this blog (if there are), might know that for me lyrics is a big part (not so fortunate to just listen to the music irrespective of the lyrics). I was thinking today how blessed it is to be from the south of India – to equally enjoy Yesudas, Chitra, Ilayaraja, S Janaki, SPB, Sid Sriram in Malayalam and Tamil along with Lata, Kishore Kumar, Mohammed Rafi, Shreya Ghosal (she bridged all the language gaps btw) and Arijit Singh. We have been given enough to last a lifetime. Poove ponpoove – Yesudas, Ilayaraja nizhal pola naanum nadai poda neeyum thodarginra sondham nedungaala bandham (You walk, I am your shadow A relationship starts, till end of life.) naan seydha paavam ennodu pogum nee vaazhndhu nandhaan paarththaa...

This past week, I happened to meet a few people who I could describe only as “pure souls”.  Brilliant in what they do, child like, no worries about how they look or talk, mostly in their own world, but warm when they include you in their world. Not “normal” – since most of us adults are conditioned to navigate this world with masks and not having masks feels like not normal, but then what is really the definition of normal and who defines it. First of them was someone I was looking forward to meet. He used to call me for silliest of reasons like can he try something which he found interesting, why wouldn’t that be possible etc. He didn’t seem to understand some things which I wouldn’t have to explain to others. There was a crowd, someone said there is him, he comes over and first thing I notice is his socked feet, no shoes. I wanted to ask what happened to the shoes but luckily didn’t. He is like a gentle giant, with large frame, long hair, long thick unruly whiskers. He introduces...

It was a strange morning. I didn't sleep well, was in some strange loop of a dream, stayed in the place between waking and sleep. I checked time at about 3 am, went back to the fitful sleep, decided to get up again around 5 am. Did wordle puzzle (a new word for me), cleaned up day's calendar. Went out for Yoga (following the rule - the day when you don't feel like it is the day to go for sure).   It had rained overnight. Yellow leaves plastered on rainy streets. But pleasant light, like after the storm had passed.  Two lines were playing in a never ending loop in my head.  aur is dil mein kya rakha hai tera hi dard chupa rakha hai  (what else should be in my heart than your sorrows kept hidden) It was only me and the teacher today. All his students converted to online. New normal post covid. He has 4 devices for different purposes and a basic studio like setup.  Caged lovebirds were making a ruckus at that time in the morning. A bit later it would be the ki...

It has been almost a year and half of ignoring the blog. It has been a period of a turbulence at work and life, a period of big changes. It disrupted all the rhythms and habits, left me just riding the change. Now just about trying to put things back together once again. This may not be the best of the topics to restart a blog, a bit dark maybe. It is not intentional, but something curious that I picked up over last few days and was mulling over. I am now sort of looking for movies or shows that are not sad, no propaganda, not period pieces with their version of history. This process of elimination eventually leads me to murder mysteries or crime thrillers. I read somewhere that we watch such to relieve tension somehow, in some twisted way. Now, two such that I watched, which are not related in any way, but had a similar theme – that we sometimes put ourselves in harm’s way, not to die, but to feel alive. That self-destruction is coded into us at the cell level and this instinct makes ...

I took a day off today, just to avoid leaves expiring by month end. It was a relaxing day and had two instances of curious connections. I did the New York Times Mini Crossword in the morning. There was a clue “Tree with white bark” and the other letters started to form a word, but I doubted whether it was actually a tree. I knew of “Aspen, Colorado” as a city in the US, but it is just the familiarity of having read or heard about it. Like a friend said one time that their young daughter was familiar with US city names by having read about them in the books. Soft power of the US that kids, even in small towns in Kerala, know their cities even though they never saw it. I looked up Aspen, to see some images of this tree.  Later in the morning, I caught up with the “Poem of the day” feed. It had 28 unread poems. I came across this poem, “I sit by the window”, by Joseph Brodsky and these lines I sit by the window. Outside, an aspen. When I loved, I loved deeply. It wasn’t often.  T...

I had attempted a word puzzle (Strands) last night before sleeping. Clue was “Sun Shade” and first word at random that I got was Lemon. I thought it might be beach accessories or some such, but none fit. Slept on it and in the morning, it was somehow clear to me that the answer was Yellow without even looking at the puzzle. As I was finishing it, one more word wasn’t fitting – Gold, Golden didn’t work. Finally figured it was Goldenrod. I hadn’t heard of it before – looked it up and it was a yellow flower that covers a stem, maybe a rod like look. I had seen one such in US, that we used in place of Konna Poovu (Golden shower, Cassia Fistula) for Vishu Kani (needed a yellow flower to stand in for beautiful konna, to see as first thing as one open our eyes on the day of Vishu). Wondered if Goldenrod is the same. Later in the morning, came across an article with interesting subtext “My time is my own even when I don’t spend it particularly well.”. It was written by someone with terminal ...