- Unsolicited Advice for My Three Sons, In No Particular Order – enjoyed this article. Starting from lactating cow that need to be pumped about swelling up with advice.
I never begin conversation with strangers, I have to search hard in my memory when I did that last, if at all. Maybe need to do that more often.
Green tea – I remember the horrible taste still and never mastered it, didn’t try it enough though. Same with many other habits that I tried to form, even though I know the theory very well. Good reminder there.
Think for oneself – infact, I always use 2 mins in microwave to make a black tea. Other day made a tea 5 mins before I was supposed to go somewhere, drank it and burnt my tongue – this was a reminder to say that 2 mins is not a rule, could have been 1.5 mins.
Negotiations – big need in life, poorly practiced. “You win not when you get the best price, but when you do so while building a strong relationship.” – absolutely true. I have seen a master negotiator who first build relationship and even after a tough deal, maintain that relationship. Admirable. Both parties should win, but I usually approach it as the other guy is out to get me.
Final one is the big truth. I read one article where someone said they decided not to have kids. But seriously they would miss a whole chapter or volume of life. Only baby I have ever played with is my own. Like not talking to strangers rule, I can’t talk to a baby (even though a baby can’t talk or judge, I treat it just the same as a stranger). I have always envied the natural guys who have the knack to play with a baby spontaneously and I never could imagine myself as a father. But I adored mine – the memories, the cuteness, little fingers, button eyes, soft cheeks, the love you feel and the love you get, the whole experience is indescribable. There is a condition when heart swells up with a flood of love, which is something you get to experience. Absolutely recommend that advice.
I like to stay away from things like “Last Lecture” since while it may be inspiring, but it is sad. This one is a similar article, but short one. Coincidentally, this article also talks about talking to strangers.
Another major one is Euthanasia. “And everyone needs to learn what it means to die. It is a core part of being a full human, the embrace of one's mortality. We fight to live, of course. And when it's over, we embrace the end.”. In Belgium it is legal. It is a very tricky point to even discuss – about ending one’s life by choice than wither way in ill health, being burden to everyone and wasting money in futile medical treatments. When Healthcare reform was being talked about in US (Obamacare), there was a huge outcry about doctor’s discussing end of life – Republican’s used it as saying “Granny killer”. It was not even about euthanasia, but on what medical options are available and chances of it extending life. I also listened to a podcast in Radiolab where a doctor was talking about his end of life instructions – don’t put him in ventilator because there is no use other than to put someone in vegetative state for some more time, which other treatments in common lingo which actually doesn’t have that much effectiveness as such. It is not defeatism, but when the fight it over, we need to let it go. When there is no quality of life to be had, let it end.
Inevitable changes, we are not too far away in implementing the same.
“When we’re faced with stressful choices at times of uncertainty, we need to remind ourselves to be open to new experiences and embrace the pain; it won’t last, and many others have seen past it.” Dealing with ambiguity is such a big skill that is needed in today’s environment. I know the theory here, but still gets stressed out and lash out once in a while to get out from the fog, but this is something to think more about.
Similar to an advice I got from a friend when we had the baby, to not get stressed out when small things happen (baby doesn’t gurgle, less time for sleep, fights on chores, cleaning), that it is not the first time and you are not unique – this has happened millions of times and people were okay at the end, so just go on with the flow. He just gave this unsolicited advice on the call to say congrats, but it was prescient.