weekly notes - wk 28 / 2024

 

1.

I had been in this situation before. Getting bored with a format of writing. It is not writer’s block. I used to write an email to my team every Monday, with whatever was on top of my mind the previous week. I did that over a year or so and then stopped - felt like I am repeating myself, have said everything I wanted to say, that whether anyone would get any more value out of that or that I am forcing myself to stick to that schedule and it should be more natural than that, not a chore. The same is happening to these weekly notes already. I couldn’t get out of the slump that I got into. I think one way out could be to change the format, so trying that from now. I know the cure is to keep going, one step at a time.   

2.

It is raining here, almost all the time. I think of these days as apocalyptic - dark all the time, rain falling with the noise of a train. It is also the perfect mood for a tea, feet up, something philosophical to read and wonder about something that seems a new insight in that moment. It is the kind of day and time I want to remember forever, if possible to bottle it and store away somewhere. Maybe these are the words that will help me remember such days and the feeling in the moment.  

3.

the saddest thing is when you watch a movie, read a book, or listen to a song, and you have no one to talk about it with.

— Sabrina (@neu_rot_ic) July 14, 2024

I guess it should be the ones that expand our understanding of the world bit by bit, so much so that over the years we change for the better. If those books, movies or songs and our interpretation of it can be clarified by talking it out loud with someone and we change together, all the better. Like a word I came across today in connection with the Spanish football team that won the Euro cup yesterday. “cuadrilla” - a Basque word for a group of mates who stay together for life. Similar to another word it reminded me of - Moai, a Japanese, about a group of lifelong friends, a social support group that forms in order to help us throughout life in many ways. 

4.

I guess this blog is one such forum for the quirky things that I come across. One such is the movie, Happy-Go-Lucky. It is around a bubbly, chirpy, good natured person who tries to brighten the moments of the people she encounters. It is diametrically opposite of how I am around people, unless it is someone on the same wavelength. But I admire such people in real life - the ones who can take disappointment in their stride, who won’t get riled up by angry people but rather think it is the result of something they suffered in their lives and hence should sympathise with. Like her reaction when she finds out her bicycle was stolen, remarking she couldn’t say goodbye to it or when her cheerful remarks were met with silence or indifference on the other side, waving it away with a joke. It must be difficult to be sunny all the time, without suffering for it in other ways. Something to try still. 

5. 

It is a Linkedin meme now, about sharing life lessons from any random event. Even the shooting at the Trump rally yesterday. But I can’t help but think about lessons from football. I had been watching the Euros for the last month or so. About nice guys, value of humility vs arrogance, whether one should have an outsized belief in one’s ability to be extraordinarily successful, about when a group of people fight for each other with everyone being equal, winning with stars vs winning with hardworking committed people who are having fun, value of preparation and systems, working with youngsters and finding the next stars, hard task of shutting out the deafening noise of criticism and complaints, going back to the basics, developing a system, having a unique philosophy or understanding of the world, visible cohesion or a group, developing a new theory for something that is hundreds of years old, stamping a unique imprint in a group of people who all believe in the same thing and more. In the end, it is 20 people running after a ball, but making it a model to think about life is interesting thought exercise. 

6. 

I need to write more, to lift some more brain fog. Problems I still grapple with. Interesting connections I see among things. To make sense out of it. Problems such as how to judge people more correctly the first time, trusting gut feel, but still creating checklists to avoid the mistakes made. How is it that despite decades of work, there is an inadequate supply of great people in certain positions and what should I do differently to develop them more. About the need to go back to the basics of software development to fix some mess. About needing to figure out if it is a new normal post covid that is creating stress. About running the rat race vs slow living - whether such thoughts are due to age. The whole meaning of life, purpose and what I really want out of it. It is a tall order to figure out.