loops

It was a strange morning. I didn't sleep well, was in some strange loop of a dream, stayed in the place between waking and sleep. I checked time at about 3 am, went back to the fitful sleep, decided to get up again around 5 am. Did wordle puzzle (a new word for me), cleaned up day's calendar. Went out for Yoga (following the rule - the day when you don't feel like it is the day to go for sure).  

It had rained overnight. Yellow leaves plastered on rainy streets. But pleasant light, like after the storm had passed. 

Two lines were playing in a never ending loop in my head. 

aur is dil mein kya rakha hai
tera hi dard chupa rakha hai 
(what else should be in my heart
than your sorrows kept hidden)

It was only me and the teacher today. All his students converted to online. New normal post covid. He has 4 devices for different purposes and a basic studio like setup. 

Caged lovebirds were making a ruckus at that time in the morning. A bit later it would be the kid, screaming at top of his voice about waking up and taking bath so early in the morning and his mother resorting to threats after exhausting all other bribes. 

He turns philosophical occasionally. Said the whole life is foolishness. We were born - it wasn't our choice. The religion to which we were born wasn't our choice. Our names weren't our choice. We will die one day and it won't be our choice also. And we just go through this life. That is all there is to it. So why worry.

It feels good driving back, windows down, in cool breeze. I count four "box shops" selling lottery ticket in that small stretch. Street was being swept clean by a uniformed lady who had a purdah like veil. Someone was petting a street dog who was enjoying it - reminded me of my sister's dog who goes into such a trance state. 

The never ending loop in my head had changed tracks. 

Dil kehta hai, chal unse mil
Udte hai kadam, ruk jaate hai
Dil humko kabhi samjhata hai
Hum dilko kabhi samjhata hai
(Heart says, go meet her
Feet starts to move, then stops
Heart sometimes reasons with me
I sometimes reason with the heart) 

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