Slept really late yesterday. Doing nothing. Nowadays there is no time to spend like that also – doing nothing. Watched highlights of cricket match couple of times, cricket news in every channel, made sure that I got my complete fill of the Indian victory. Today read every article in the sports section of the newspaper also. Now that chapter is closed. I am going to give a rest to cricket for some time. It is taking lot of my free time.

Before this cricket series started, it was football. I was following Real Madrid and once they were out of the competition, that ended. Today I was watching something where Pele was saying that every great team would have one star player. Real had Beckham, Zidane, Ronaldo, Carlos, Figo – but still they could not go all the way. If one could measure talent quantitatively, then a player having largest amount of it, could be matched by a group with average amounts of it. So a team of medium talented players fitting in just like pieces of jigsaw can also be a great one. But only difference is there is no single face to pin all that greatness to. People will forget the greatness of a team of 80’s easily, but won’t forget the great player of 80’s. I don’t have much interest in British football, don’t want to start. Not atleast this season.

I am really afraid whether staying up until 2 or 3 am is becoming a habit. It is really having its toll on my wife. I am afraid I am turning her clock also to sleep late. Slept till 2 pm today. Seeing me waking up at 2 o’clock on a Saturday with a stiff neck, a friend had adviced me to get up early and enjoy the weekend. But weekends are taken for catching up on all the lost sleep. It is like a long journey through the mazes of bizarre dreams. Especially when you oversleep. What the mind conjures up as dreams is amazing - places, people, situations all mixed up.

Striking a perfect balance between work and life is getting difficult. Now even I am guarding myself against making unhealthy habits and give each its own required place and importance. Not doing really anything about it, but I don’t know as yet what can be done.

I was catching up with some of my frequent blogs. One was saying that everybody presents their best face to strangers, so don’t just go by what is written down. There could be more behind these written words. Another was saying that surely he won’t write anything about how he fell in love, because he doesn’t want to share that with strangers. Yet another was saying that he won’t write politics, so as not to muddy the water. Another was saying that send the link of your blog to your mother, sister and girlfriend. That way you won’t write anything unnecessary. I guess there will always be something which you want to keep only to yourself. Most guarded secrets of a person which he won’t acknowledge even to himself. There are shared feelings with our near and dear which one need not flaunt in public and disrespect those feelings. These are common property on which both parties have some right. You don’t have any right to make decision whether to tell others about it. I sometimes feel, we have different faces to show to every one. Adjusting the shapes according to what others want to see. Admit it or not, people always adjust to others expectations. Sometimes even language gets modified when talking to different people. Show one face, have same set of feelings, speak same language to all, guard against transformation – is that the sign of maturity? As for me, there will be a line drawn as to where I should stop. It is not the fear of others seeing my ugly faces, but out of something called self-respect. But I need not have restriction that I won’t say anything about politics, sports, technology or any of the wordly things. Whatever it is which interests me.

I don’t know what I am saying. I think waking up late is having its toll on me. I have a heavy head. I came to office to finish off some work. Now I will get back to that. Two more hectic weeks. As always, I hope, after this, I will get back some control on my life and some “quality time”.


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