Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts

Perfect Days


I have been waiting for one movie to come out on any of the OTT platforms, seeing the praise from many in my “circle” and finally got to watch it - Perfect Days, a Japanese language film, by a German director. It is about a man who goes about his days cleaning toilets in Tokyo. Its dialogues could be printed in a handful of pages, very little is said. It shows the routines of a normal life, simple pleasures in life such as music, nature and books, not worrying about the tomorrows but living in the now, not living to others expectations, needing little, not taking on commitments for the sake of it and being satisfied with what one has. 


I had written “change one thing a day” at the top of the daily journal, to remind myself to change some part of my routine every day, to avoid getting into comfort zones and declining. But this is the opposite - having the exact same routines every day. Same morning routines, same coffee, listening to 70s or 80s songs from cassette tapes, doing the work well, having same food at same place, looking at the nature and its small changes, cycling in the evening to a public bath, eating at the same restaurant, being served the same food with same comment from the same friendly waiter, reading a book till getting sleepy and entering a peaceful sleep.


I had been watching a few movies that just shows lives unfolding, but doesn’t explain, leaving the interpretation to the audience. “Show, don’t tell” philosophy. Afterwards I go into rabbit holes of online discussion forums like reddit to read interpretations, sometimes surprising ones where I missed noticing something. But it is good to make each of these our own, with our own interpretations. Most directors also want the same from their audience.   


In this one, why does he stay alone? Is there something from the past that drove him to this way of living? Is the future going to be the same or will he want change? What about loneliness, needing human connection? He doesn’t react to people wanting to initiate connection, is that deliberate? What does the final scene mean - when the song “life is good” is playing in the background, is he crying from the happiness of his perfect days or mixed with sadness of the effort it takes to maintain his peace? 


I liked that he is treating his job as something to be done perfectly. Someone remarks that the toilets will get dirty again, so why be perfect in cleaning it? Why create custom tools for it? Why look under the surfaces that no one might see, with a handheld mirror and clean there too? As a contrast to a co-worker who cleans absentmindedly, while looking at the phone or wanting to rush and finish so that he can take a girl out. Like Steve Jobs’ philosophy to do a good job with the side of a piece of furniture that is not seen by anyone, that is closer to the wall maybe, but even that to be polished just right. Or everyone who contributed to the Mac machine signing the motherboard of the computer - why make the innards of a gadget look good? There is personal satisfaction in that - to do a job well, that may not be seen by anybody, but just because it is the right thing to do.   


“The world is made up of many worlds; some are connected, and some are not.”

The man and his niece were talking about him and his sister (her mother) living in different worlds. I used to think there are worlds or universes around us. Even entering a building that we might have passed by hundreds of times, but never entered - if we look out from there, to the familiar streets, it is a new perspective that we never had before. I used to try and look at my town with the eyes of a foreigner - what would they see and think? Or each person who passes us by - they are living in their own worlds, which may be very different from what I experience. If we enter the kitchen of a restaurant, the staff quarters of a hotel, inside of a football coaching centre, college for deaf/mute or an arts school - there are an infinite number of such worlds that don’t intersect with mine. 


“Next time is next time. Now is now.” 

They were talking about following the river to the place where it meets the sea, but he said next time, without planning when that next time will be. About living in the present, not in the past or future. Not making elaborate plans for the future. Being ok with what we have now.   


I love the way songs are used in such movies, giving it new meaning or as a way to subtly explain the emotions of the moment. These days people make playlists that are helpful, such as this one. Incidentally the man asks which place is Spotify when his niece asks if the songs can be found on Spotify. Slow living it is - free of devices, social media, not knowing the latest meme. I read somewhere that over the years, the words in the song lyrics are becoming similar. Just like fashion, people, cities, books, movies, colours all becoming similar and trending to the average that the majority likes. It is time to rediscover older songs that were made when the lyrics were not written by a committee that tests it against a target group to predict the next super hit. 

spiritual awakening, lost in translation


One day this past week, I listened to this podcast interview of Cyan Banister, in Invest like the Best. Due to some reason, I felt I couldn’t listen to anything else that day. I usually listen to politics or product management or economics, but that day anything else would have spoiled the mood I was in. It may be that some days are like that - when the mind is contemplative, no clutter or anxiety, less cynical, the body feels healthy and open to receive. Or it may truly be that there was something in what I had listened to. 

Cyan seems to be a successful investor in Uber, SpaceX among others. Of late, I feel all successful people think that they have wisdom to share and everyone is becoming gurus online. Other day I was reading such pearls of wisdom from someone who is good at product management and it was nothing about product management, but about how to live one’s life. It may be that to become truly good at something, one has to become a better person first and in that process arrive at the same universal truths irrespective of what path they are on. 


I was thinking she is like the “high priestess” of capitalism, who feels she is being entrusted with money to do good in the world. Her story seems incredible - from being homeless, being self taught, suffering a stroke at a young age to becoming wildly successful. She talked about being an atheist, but discovering spirituality a few years back, where she feels there is something that guides the decisions we make. 


“I actually had to figure out how to truly believe that the world is magical. And the moment that I truly believed that the world was magical, then the world became magical. It rocked the foundation of who I am. So I had a spiritual awakening, and that's the only way I can describe it. And I can tell you that each one of us is walking a very thin, razor's edge between sanity and insanity at all times.

 

Serotonin regulates a lot of how we perceive reality. I had a surge of serotonin in this lightning bolt like no other. It was basically in a surge of energy that went from the base of my spine at the top of my skull and suddenly, everything in the world looked different. Everything. I started viewing signs differently. I started viewing art differently, conversations I was having with people differently. And I realized everything around us is a projection of our perception and minds.

 

And once you learned how just to be, life gets a lot more simple. All of a sudden, everything you ever wished for in your life just starts coming true, it becomes effortless. It's really weird. It's really super weird. And the only thing that changed in my life was having faith in something higher than myself. That was it. This is why when you ask me what insight or brilliance or whatever led to whatever, it's too easy for our ego mind to take credit for everything.

 

Something gave me that feeling that said, you ought to go deeper into this, you ought to do this. You've got to take this risk, you've got to jump right now. I guarantee you, if you talk to a lot of different people, they'll say, "I don't know why I did this. I just had a feeling, and I now believe thoroughly in that feeling and I believe that, that feeling is the universe or God, whatever word you want to put into it, and it helps guide me." And now that I don't egotistically attach myself to it, I am just a much happier person and everything is just falling into place.”


I am sceptical when people talk about spiritual awakening, but am fascinated to read or listen to people who say they had such an epiphany. I had read a similar description in vivid terms in “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. I wonder if it really happens or is it a moment of madness? When films or stories talk about someone going through a life changing moment, realizing all of a sudden about the meaning of life or why they are on a wrong path and changing the course altogether, I wonder if it is an instrument or plot twist in story telling to take the story to a conclusion.  


She talked about monoculture - when everything in culture is becoming similar, with commercial interests making movies, books, songs and people similar, to be able to sell more of the same. She talked about Gen Alpha, the ones born in the twenty-first century, doubting why to learn anything in the world of AI. 


Another surprising one was her saying Bill Murray, the actor, is her spirit animal. 


“Bill Murray is my spirit animal. About 20 years ago, I saw a film called Lost in Translation. And I thought this is a person who feels so real. He's not acting. He is but he isn't. I looked at his eyes in that performance and I saw a man who is suffering, who was dealing with some real-life shit that was coming through the film. And not only that, but I felt my own suffering, and I felt a connection to that suffering. It's like when you look at a painting and you see yourself. I saw myself in Bill Murray.”

I had watched Lost in Translation years ago, but had completely forgotten it. Just like the saying that we should re-read some of our favourite books every few years or so, maybe we should re-watch the best movies - we might see something that we were not ready for earlier or was not in the frame of mind or maturity to understand earlier. Luckily the movie was available on one of the OTT platforms. I didn’t remember any of the story, except maybe the only thing that had stuck deeply in my mind was Japan, its buddhist temples and wanting to visit sometime. I could identify with the deep loneliness and weariness of Bill Murray’s character, especially how it crystallises while on travels. Maybe this is what “adulthood” imposes on us, to go through the long slog of life. The easy connection of both of the lead characters and opening up about some of the hard realities of life which is hard to talk about normally. The tenderness, care, trust that one would find a fulfilling path despite the current self doubt, not crossing the line and spoiling a deeper connection are what I could take away now. Maybe I should re-watch in another few years and will see something new. 

movies and seeing into the soul

I had taken a resolution to watch, listen, read from artists or authors outside US, to get more wider perspective. Followed this resolution to finally blow through some of my long pending watchlist of movies from other countries with a Mubi subscription. Drive My Car (Japanese, felt it was a forced story), One Fine Morning (French – this one portrayed the anguish of the children, and helplessness of the parents towards the end of their lives), Aftersun (Scottish, bored me, but pulled at the heartstrings of quiet desperation of a father who couldn’t hold things together), Worst Person in the World (Norwegian, understood the need for someone to not get tied down or not settle, but felt pointless), Decision to leave (Korean – beautifully shot and sad), Past Lives (Korean/American – slow and confusing, the situation must have been painful, but it didn’t feel as much for me).

All these were leading me to a conclusion that it is so hard to depict true feelings of people going through hard fights throughout their lives, their momentary joys, anguish, dilemmas, and suffering. But then closer to home, watched a few films which I felt did better. Nanpakal nerathu mayakkam (Malayalam/Tamil, Netflix) – how would it feel if someone you thought were permanently lost came back in another avatar for a day. I felt the role of the widow in this film would have been the toughest, but it wasn’t explored much.  Kaathal – the Core (Malayalam, Prime) – while it wasn’t perfect and sort of restrained, the openness of relationships despite the disagreements, silent acceptance of fate of life and leaving the destiny of oneself to others felt real. Three of Us (Hindi, Netflix) – beautifully shot and poetic, real difficult puzzle of a life problem and how three people would deal with it. Loved the transparency in the relationships and freedom to express the feelings however complex or embarrassing it maybe. Became a fan of Jaideep Ahlawat.

Yesterday someone told me, there is a web series based on the book, “Lessons in Chemistry”. I said no, I am good with the book. I didn’t want to spoil my mental image of that world and the experience of traveling with them, by seeing someone else’s interpretation of it. Then happened to see the below quote which perfectly expressed what I was feeling.

"In films, we are voyeurs, but in novels, we have the experience of being someone else: knowing another person's soul from the inside. No other art form does that. And this is why sometimes, when we put down a book, we find ourselves slightly altered as human beings. Novels change us from within." - Donna Tartt

2019 list - read, watch, listen, learn more



New year resolution to read, listen, learn more. Keeping record of it, as a way to keeping a commitment. Hope to keep this updated.

Books read
  1. Milkman – Anna Burns. 3 / 5
  2. All the Bright Places – Jennifer Niven. 3.5 / 5
  3. Snow Crash - Neal Stephenson. 4 / 5 
  4. A Contract with God - Will Isner. 3.5 / 5
  5. Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood - Marjane Satrapi - 4 / 5
  6. Persepolis 2: The Story of a Return - Marjane Satrapi - 3.5 / 5
  7. The Best We Could Do - Thi Bui - 4 / 5 
  8. A Man of the People - Chinua Achebe - 3 / 5
  9. Sabrina - Nick Drnaso - 3.5 / 5
  10. Little Prince - Antoine de Saint Exupéry - 4 / 5
  11. Normal People - Sally Rooney - 4 / 5
  12. The Vegetarian - Han Kong - 3.5 / 5
  13. Jazz - Tony Morrison - 3.5 / 5
  14. Sula - Tony Morrison - 3.5 / 5 
  15. Maus - Art Spiegelman - 4/ 5 
  16. Khasakkinte Itihasam - O. V. Vijayan (Malayalam) - 4 / 5
  17. Black Leopard, Red Wolf - Marlon James - 3 / 5
  18. Looking for Alaska - John Green - 4 / 5
  19. The Women's Courtyard - Khadija Mastoor - 4 / 5
  20.  Aarachar - K.R. Meera (Malayalam) - 4 / 5
  21. The Namesake - Jhumpa Lahiri - 4.5 / 5 
  22. Conversations with Friends - Sally Rooney - 4 / 5
  23. A gentleman in Moscow - Amor Towles - 4.5 / 5
  24. Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine - Gail Honeyman - 4 / 5
  25. Influence: the psychology of persuasion – Robert Cialdini - 4 / 5
Podcasts, Listened
  1. Winning at the Great Game: My Interview with Adam Robinson (Part 2) [The Knowledge Project Ep. #48]
  2. Winning at the Great Game: My Interview with Adam Robinson (Part 1) [The Knowledge Project Ep. #47]
  3. James Clear on Rich Roll Podcast - Why habits are the compound interest of self improvement
  4. The Dying Art of Conversation: My Interview with Author and Speaker Celeste Headlee
  5. This is Water - David Foster Wallace
  6. Inventing the Future: My Interview With Lux Capital’s Josh Wolfe 
  7. The Evolutionary Angel, Naval Ravikant - Tim Ferris Show
  8. The Moth Radio Hour: Occasional Magic
  9. Thich Nhat Hanh, Cheri Maples, and Larry Ward — Being Peace in a World of Trauma
  10. #353: Patrick Collison — CEO of Stripe - Tim Ferris Show
  11. #1309 - Naval Ravikant - The Joe Rogan Experience
  12. The Moth Radio Hour: A Flight Attendant, A Refugee, and A Preacher
  13. The Moth Radio Hour: Brains, Beauty, and Brawn: Stories of Girlhood
  14. Tales from the Emerald Isle: Michael Devlin, Claire Nevin & Paul Doran
  15. John O'Donohue — The Inner Landscape of Beauty
  16. Joe Rogan Experience – John Carmack
  17. The Knowledge Project with Share Parrish - Leading Above the Line with Jim Dethmer
  18. On Being with Krista Tippett - Jericho Brown — Small Truths and Other Surprises
  19. On Being with Krista Tippett - Mary Oliver — Listening to the World
  20. On Being with Krista Tippett - Seth Godin — Life, the Internet, and Everything
  21. On Being with Krista Tippett - Mahzarin Banaji — The Mind Is a Difference-Seeking Machine
  22. Software Engineering Daily - Facebook Engineering Process with Kent Beck
  23. Shonda Rhimes on How to Create Stories (and Products) People Want
  24. The Knowledge Project with Share Parrish - #69 Stephen Schwarzman: What It Takes
  25. The Knowledge Project with Share Parrish - #68 Daniel Kahneman: Putting Your Intuition on Ice
  26. Invest like the best - Kevin Systrom and Mike Krieger – How to Build a Great Product
  27. The Knowledge Project with Share Parrish - #70 Scott Adams: Avoiding Loserthink

Movies 

1. Andhadhun - Hindi - 7 / 10
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - 8/10
3. Roma - 8/10
4. Vijay Superum Pournamiyum - 5 / 10 
5. Bohemian Rhapsody - 7.5 / 10
6. 20th Century Women - 7 / 10
7. Kumbalangi Nights - 7.5 / 10 
8. Free Solo (documentary) - 8 / 10
9. Lady Bird - 6.5 / 10 
10. If Beale street could talk - 6.5 / 10
11. Manmarziaan - 6.5 / 10
12. Coração de Cowboy - 6 / 10
13. The Lincoln Lawyer - 6 / 10
14. Blackklansman - 6.5 / 10
15. The Green Book - 7 / 10
16. The shoplifters - 6.5 / 10
17. The way we were - 6.5 /10 
18. June (Malayalam) - 6 / 10
19. Gone Girl - 6 / 10
20. Secret in their eyes - 5 / 10
21. Annie Hall - 7 / 10
22. The English Patient - 7.5 / 10
23. Molly's Game - 5 / 10
24. God's Own Country - 6 / 10
25. The Descendants - 7 / 10
26. Uyare - 7 / 10
27. The last king of Scotland - 7 / 10
28. Varathan - 7 / 10
29. Iyyobinte Pusthakam - 7 / 10 
30. Carol - 7 / 10
31. Brooklyn - 6.5 / 10
32. One Day - 6.5 / 10
33. God's Own Country - 6 / 10 
34. Never Let Me Go - 7.5 / 10
35. The Spectacular Now - 7 / 10
36. The Light between Oceans - 6.5 / 10
37. Argentina Fans Kattoorkadavu - 6 / 10
38. Athiran - 6 / 10
39. Uyare - 7.5 / 10
40. And the Oscar goes to.. - 5.5 / 10
41. Assassination of Jesse James by coward Robert Ford - 7  10
42. American Women - 6 / 10
43. Tamasha - 6.5 / 10
44. Once upon a time in Hollywood - 7 / 10
45. Chekka chivantha vaanam - 6 / 10
46. Yesterday - 7.5 / 10
47. Sicario - 6.5 / 10
48. John Wick 1, 2, 3 - 6.5 /10
51. Marriage Story - 8 / 10
52. The Deer Hunter - 7.5 / 10
53. Ishq - 6 / 10
54. The irishman - 8 / 10

New Music discoveries 

1. Prateek Kuhad - Cold/Mess
2. Phum Viphurit - Paper Throne
3. Tonina Saputo - Historia du an Amor
4. LP - Lost on you
5. LP - Muddy Waters
6. Kumbalangi Nights - Uyiril Thodum 
7. Tonina Saputo - Quizas, Quizas, Quizas

Poems

1. Today , Wild Geese, Journey, The Summer Day, This talking about Love, The fourth sign of zodiac, For Example, Softest of mornings, Black oaks, The poet dreams of the mountain, The Fire, When I am among the trees - Mary Oliver 
2. Don't go far off, Sweetness, Always, I Like for You to be Still - Pablo Neruda
3. A red, red rose - Robert Burns
4. Yesterday, Black Cherries - W. S. Merwin
5. The colonel - Carolyn Forche
6. Melancholy - Ruben Dario
7. How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43) - Elizabeth Barrett Browning
8. Give All to Love - Ralph Waldo Emerson
9. KindnessNaomi Shihab Nye
10. The More Loving OneW. H. Auden
11. At The Last Watch - Rabindranath Tagore
12. At a Window - Carl Sandburg
13. A Prayer, Dark days, Desiderata - words for life  - Max Ehrmann
14. somewhere i have never traveled, gladly beyond - E. E. Cummings
15. Loneliness - Katherine Mansfield
16. For The Sake Of Strangers - Dorianne Laux
17. Today - Thomas Carlyle
18. The Rebel (Bidrohi) - Kazi Nazrul Islam
19. Offering and Rebuff - Carl Sandburg 
20. Poem for everyone - John Wood 
21. Buoyancy, Poems of Passion - Rumi
22. After a while - Veronica Shoftshall
23. Blessing the boats - Lucille Clifton
24. Alone - Georges Rodenbach
25. Moonlight Sleeps Within Your Heart - Jean Lahor
26. The Coming of Light - Mark Strand
27. I Feel Sorry For the Stars - Fernando Pessoa
28. Digging - Seamus Heaney
29. To my beloved: With my soul in my lips - Medardo Ángel Silva
30. A Decade - Amy Lowell
31. Wisdom , I am not Yours - Sara Teasdale 
32. Her Beauty - Max Plowman
33. The Oblation - Algernon Charles Swinburne
34. In an Artist's Studio - Christina Rossetti35. Democracy - Langston Hughes
36. Possibilities, The onion - Wislawa 
Szymborska

37. Slow Dance - David L. Weatherford
38. Moment, Aspiration - Mario de Andrade
39. The Voice - Shel Silverstein 
40. They sit together on the porch - Wendell Berry
41. Gulmohar - jndmello 
42. Before Quiet - Hazel Hall
43. Mad girl's love song - Sylvia Plath
44. Mimesis - Fady Joudah 

45. These poems - June Jordan
46. I have no power - Nizar Qabbani
47. Spring in Nairobi - Ngwatilo Mawiyoo
48. The Dove - Leonard Cohen
49. The peace of wild things - Wendell Berry
50. Jerusalem - Naomi Shihab Nye
51. A morning offering - John O'Donohue
52. Eating the bones - Ellen Bass
53. Faint music - Robert Hass 
54. Everything is going to be alright - Derek Mahon
55. Happiness - Jane Kenyon
56. The Rainy Day - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Others, watched and liked 
1. Inventing on principle - Bret Victor
2. Dreaming Murakami 
3. Systems Thinking
4. My year reading a book from every country in the world
5. Stop Drawing Dead Fish - Bret Victor 
6. How to start a startup
7. Greatness - David Marquet
8. Emergence and Complexity
9. Chaos and Reductionism
10. Introduction to Human Behavioral Biology
11. Russell Ackoff - From Mechanistic to Systemic Thinking

12. Systems Thinking Speech by Russell Ackoff
13. Robert C Martin - The Land that Scrum Forgot
14. Scott Hanselman - "it's not what you read, it's what you ignore"

15. Scott Hanselman - Scaling Yourself 
16. Spotify Engineering Culture

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