Showing posts with label weekly notes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weekly notes. Show all posts

weekly notes - wk 29 / 2024


Traveled to Melbourne, Australia for work for a week. It was my first time to Australia. It was a coincidence of events that led to it. Helping someone out of the blue in first days of 2024 that might have led to a trip to Australia at the time, but didn't. Some goodwill from that episode and others helped to lead to something else. I hope this further results in a positive outcome. 

A new country for me. While I had some notions about Australia, through documentary of their women's football team (Matildas), hearsay, perceptions about Australia cricket team and such, it all changes or clarifies to a different picture once I visit. Vast country, much bigger than India, but less people than Kerala, large Indian and Chinese contingent of immigrants, quick weather changes, closeness to Antartica, stories about dwarf Penguins coming back in the evening at an island beach, wild fires, short days in the end of winter, a city with its high rises quite same as any other metros, coffee culture, lots of restaurants and Australian Football which I found to be weird. It was mostly hotel and office for me as it happens in these work trips. It was cold too. 

Culture of even our own work changes from country to country, depending on what customers there expects. While we Indians stretch the boundaries of work ourselves, here it was friendly, easy going, people who enjoy life and respectful.  

I had been largely thinking and discussing with others on similar topics that are in my mind for few weeks or months - decline of project management competency, software delivery struggling everywhere to meet timelines and quality, reluctance to take ownership, ripple effects of great resignation still, slow change and bureaucracy in IT. Like old generation complaining about the new, we lamented about lack of responsibility from the new generation, rate of growth of people in earlier days, about 5 year of setback in career trajectory of people, bad bosses and culture in some places vs emulating role models in other places.  

weekly notes - wk 28 / 2024

 

1.

I had been in this situation before. Getting bored with a format of writing. It is not writer’s block. I used to write an email to my team every Monday, with whatever was on top of my mind the previous week. I did that over a year or so and then stopped - felt like I am repeating myself, have said everything I wanted to say, that whether anyone would get any more value out of that or that I am forcing myself to stick to that schedule and it should be more natural than that, not a chore. The same is happening to these weekly notes already. I couldn’t get out of the slump that I got into. I think one way out could be to change the format, so trying that from now. I know the cure is to keep going, one step at a time.   


2.

It is raining here, almost all the time. I think of these days as apocalyptic - dark all the time, rain falling with the noise of a train. It is also the perfect mood for a tea, feet up, something philosophical to read and wonder about something that seems a new insight in that moment. It is the kind of day and time I want to remember forever, if possible to bottle it and store away somewhere. Maybe these are the words that will help me remember such days and the feeling in the moment.  


3.

I guess it should be the ones that expand our understanding of the world bit by bit, so much so that over the years we change for the better. If those books, movies or songs and our interpretation of it can be clarified by talking it out loud with someone and we change together, all the better. Like a word I came across today in connection with the Spanish football team that won the Euro cup yesterday. “cuadrilla” - a Basque word for a group of mates who stay together for life. Similar to another word it reminded me of - Moai, a Japanese, about a group of lifelong friends, a social support group that forms in order to help us throughout life in many ways. 

4.

I guess this blog is one such forum for the quirky things that I come across. One such is the movie, Happy-Go-Lucky. It is around a bubbly, chirpy, good natured person who tries to brighten the moments of the people she encounters. It is diametrically opposite of how I am around people, unless it is someone on the same wavelength. But I admire such people in real life - the ones who can take disappointment in their stride, who won’t get riled up by angry people but rather think it is the result of something they suffered in their lives and hence should sympathise with. Like her reaction when she finds out her bicycle was stolen, remarking she couldn’t say goodbye to it or when her cheerful remarks were met with silence or indifference on the other side, waving it away with a joke. It must be difficult to be sunny all the time, without suffering for it in other ways. Something to try still. 


5. 

It is a Linkedin meme now, about sharing life lessons from any random event. Even the shooting at the Trump rally yesterday. But I can’t help but think about lessons from football. I had been watching the Euros for the last month or so. About nice guys, value of humility vs arrogance, whether one should have an outsized belief in one’s ability to be extraordinarily successful, about when a group of people fight for each other with everyone being equal, winning with stars vs winning with hardworking committed people who are having fun, value of preparation and systems, working with youngsters and finding the next stars, hard task of shutting out the deafening noise of criticism and complaints, going back to the basics, developing a system, having a unique philosophy or understanding of the world, visible cohesion or a group, developing a new theory for something that is hundreds of years old, stamping a unique imprint in a group of people who all believe in the same thing and more. In the end, it is 20 people running after a ball, but making it a model to think about life is interesting thought exercise. 


6. 

I need to write more, to lift some more brain fog. Problems I still grapple with. Interesting connections I see among things. To make sense out of it. Problems such as how to judge people more correctly the first time, trusting gut feel, but still creating checklists to avoid the mistakes made. How is it that despite decades of work, there is an inadequate supply of great people in certain positions and what should I do differently to develop them more. About the need to go back to the basics of software development to fix some mess. About needing to figure out if it is a new normal post covid that is creating stress. About running the rat race vs slow living - whether such thoughts are due to age. The whole meaning of life, purpose and what I really want out of it. It is a tall order to figure out.

weekly notes - wk 27 / 2024


It is going to be one month since some of my routines were broken. I hadn’t gone for a walk/run for a month, didn’t read much till this past weekend and didn’t feel like watching any movies. When I get into such a slump, I typically clean up everything. It gives a feeling of starting from a clean slate. It has been the way since childhood - when life is a mess, cleanup the surroundings. Fold clothes, vacuum clean the house, pay attention to personal hygiene, clean up the todo lists, emails, open tabs in the browser, make new resolutions. It gives the feeling of starting over. 


While passing over some things, I saw the name of someone who I said thank you to on social media for sharing good music. She had passed away during covid and it was a shock even though it was nearly a stranger to me. I have the last text sent to a friend asking how he is doing before he passed away. For a long period of time, people leaving with that kind of finality was not on my mind. People move away to other cities or countries for jobs and while farewells are painful, we know they are there somewhere. Being young (in my mind, I never aged after college, until recently), death was a faraway concept. There is a threshold that one crosses when one does the rituals for a family member. It is real now, not a distant concept. I guess it is still possible to think that they are there somewhere though. 

weekly notes - wk 23-26 / 2024

 

My small world got reconfigured once more in the last few weeks. I lost my father two weeks back. I had travelled to Montreal, Canada for work for two weeks and this was a sudden shock on a surreal Sunday morning. There was no warning, no mental preparation. I went through the motions of just packing and leaving in the first available flight, trying not to think too much. Past two weeks have been a blur of rituals, doing what needs to be done mechanically and meeting people I hadn’t met in decades.


Words seem to have dried up for some time. It may not be the best way to process the grief, but this may take time.  

weekly notes - wk 22 / 2024

 

1. 

It was the last week before schools opened, so we took one day off and spent it in Trivandrum’s Lulu mall’s play area. Kids had a great time. I was hoping we could get out in an hour or two, but had to drag them out in the evening. 


I was mostly observing strangers, if that is a nicer way of putting it. So many different types of people. An old lady in a housecoat and thorthu, being pushed in a wheelchair. A thatha, so overweight she was hanging onto the railing, joking with her grandsons. A girl and a boy dressed fashionably, girl with rolled up tshirt, walking hand in hand - after some time, another girl joined them, three of them walking holding hands like an ad for something. School groups - I assumed some from International school, checking up on someone who was sitting outside a play area, from their group, video calling and chatting. Two lovebirds, thin, must be in 12th or undergraduate, clinging to each other, their group accepts this pair as one person. An american malayalee auntie of indeterminable age, striding here and there, in shorts and tinted glasses. Another English speaking family getting into the crowded lift, the daughter announcing if anyone wants to get down at level 1, no such good manners expected by anyone, hence the mother shushing the daughter. Kids shooting reels - one guy coming up the stairs, throwing his head back and running his fingers through the hair, doing multiple takes. Kids playing VR shooting games on motorbikes or horseback. A pair of sisters coming to play Bowling, one of the sisters all action, purposeful and determined. Another tamil family, drinking coffee from golden cups. New fashions, oversize shirts, sleeves falling beneath elbow level, hawaii shirts, lightly patterned white shirts with full sleeve buttoned, black tees and blue jeans, oversize jeans with high waist. Sea of humanity - I was exhausted by evening, even though I did nothing. 


2. 

Watched a movie, The Hours. I hadn’t read any Virginia Woolf, even though I had attempted once or twice, but fascinated by her life story and tragic ending. I liked the movie - I couldn’t recognize Nicole Kidman as Virginia, had to double check to be sure. Boredom with monotonous life, courage to leave a life which is as good as death and choose to live, mental illness and friendships. I was so affected once again that I started reading “A Room of One’s Own”, Virginia Woolf’s lecture on Women and Fiction. She was ahead in her thoughts by 100 years!   

"You cannot find peace by avoiding life, Leonard"

- The Hours (Virginia Woolf to Leonard) 

3. 

Finished 10th book of the year, A Glass Hotel, by Emily St John Mandel. It was deeply disturbing, but I am now going by below quote. I used to search for books that are comforting, with happy ending, about good people. But I realize I am trying to run away from reality.  

"I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound or stab us. If the book we're reading doesn't wake us up with a blow to the head, what are we reading for? So that it will make us happy, as you write? Good Lord, we would be happy precisely if we had no books, and the kind of books that make us happy are the kind we could write ourselves if we had to. But we need books that affect us like a disaster, that grieve us deeply, like the death of someone we loved more than ourselves, like being banished into forests far from everyone, like a suicide. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us. That is my belief."
- Franz Kafka

The Glass Hotel was about deeply flawed people, put through the meat grinder of life, surviving their childhoods, trying to recover their whole lives and succumbing eventually. Financial fraud, drug abuse, broken homes, people taking advantage of each other and eventually facing the ghosts. It was deeply depressing, so exactly the kind that is an axe for the frozen sea within us. 

weekly notes - wk 21 / 2024

1.

It is permanently dark under rain clouds. Low lying areas are flooding. People are complaining about road work everywhere combined with rain making traffic difficult. How things change from two weeks back when it was extremely hot to now summer rains causing floods. It is not yet Monsoon. 


2.

We attended a wedding engagement function. I watched the series “Made in Heaven” which was a story of wedding planners coordinating luxury weddings last year. It was curious to see the wedding planners in this function prepared with remote control to trigger the sparklers when bride entered, cannons that shot out rose petals and photographers instructing the father of the groom and groom to talk to take candid pics. Wedding functions have become elaborate affairs - maybe that industry needed to employ people who will invent more. 


3.

Finished reading Book 9 of 2024, “48 Laws of Power” by Robert Greene. It was a difficult read, but insightful nevertheless. I can identify the behavioural patterns of a few after this. Rules like “Never put too much trust in friends, learn to use enemies”, “Conceal your intentions”, “Guard your reputation”, “Learn to keep people dependent on you”, “Never appear too perfect”. I listened to a podcast interview of Robert Greene (how cool is it that in this day and age, one can read a book and listen to the thoughts of the author directly) - he did lot of research for this to collect stories in last hundred years or so to illustrate how people obtained, grew, retained and consolidated power. He says upfront that power is amoral. I initially thought this was a parody, but it is not. I think if nice guys can finish first, I hope so, but what about the machiavellis and chanakyas of the world? Social engineering is used to effectively brainwash entire societies with propaganda, can nice guys win straight in such environments? 


4.

Couple of interesting reads (came across through Hacker News) - 

Inner ring - CS Lewis - that there are unofficial hierarchies in any social group and when we are outside one, we pine for entering it, but it is like peeling an onion with many inner rings. By spending our energies in entering these inner circles and keeping others out, we lose some of our identity over time. Instead focus on our craft and form genuine friendships with other craftsmen that are not about excluding others. 


Corporate Ozempic - Prof Galloway - that AI is like Ozempic (weight loss drug that controls craving for food) for corporates, aiding them in reducing hiring while growing profits. Large companies are reducing jobs, but profits and stock prices are continuing to increase. Is it really AI or the over hiring and inefficiencies that crept up getting cleaned up now? 

weekly notes - wk 20 / 2024


It started raining daily now. Sky is dark most of the time. After maybe the hottest summer, it feels good to not sweat all the time and sleep better.  


Acquired a new customer last week, after a pursuit of more than a year. The ups and downs, working with new people, trying different things, bouts of inspiration, thrill of doing something new. Building new teams is a tough challenge ahead, but for the moment it feels good. 


We watched a movie, Guruvayoor Ambalanadayil (Malayalam) in the theatre on its first day, among cheering fans. We don’t normally do that, but this was an impulsive one. Its story had something new, but then it felt like they didn’t know where to take it. Few good laughs and loud and jarring music. 


Finished 8th book of the year - “When we cease to understand the world” by Benjamin Labatut. It was a good read, in a new genre that is retelling the life of few scientists as a mix of fiction and nonfiction, with a touch of fantasy and philosophy. I hope to write a bit more of my takeaways from it later. 


Watched Jurgen Klopp’s final football game as Liverpool manager. His clarity about his energy level reflecting on others, suffering with the losses, trying again, keeping high standards, loving people, developing young talent, being himself, speaking plainly, being humble - all these are the reason why I watched Liverpool games more than my first favourite Manchester United which seems to be going in opposite direction, through nightmares in all departments.


Nobel prize winning author Alice Munro passed away last week. I had read many of her short stories a few years back. I had an aversion to short stories since I felt that this format cannot explore characters and story in enough detail and it gets over before I am satisfied, but Alice Munro’s stories pack a lot and these stories changed my perception forever. When I read something, sometimes I wonder “If only I can write one sentence like that” - Alice Munro’s stories are full of such lines. In her memory, read the story A Bear Came Over the Mountain. New Yorker archives have some of her best stories. 

weekly notes - wk 19 / 2024

 


1.

I travelled to Pune for a few days this week. I was recovering from the cough, cold and headache during the first couple of days, with a runny nose and runny eyes as well. Got better through the journey and healed by the time I got back. Pune was hot, it was 40 or 41 degrees. When I landed in Pune, I felt the color palette of the whole scenery was light brown, like the filters used in some western movies to get a dull desert like color. Irony was after we finished, return flight from Pune was delayed due to thunderstorms. Rain water was falling in sheets not drops from the airport roof. It was worth the trip though - to meet a lot of people, get a sense of what is going on and orient myself. A few vignettes from that travel and conversations as notes this week. 

2.

“If I get to know people, they will come to me with their problems too, which will increase my workload” 

“Oh, you are also from the same project? I had seen you around, but never realized”


Current hybrid work is a mess. People come to the office, but are not working together in solving a common problem. They are not learning from each other. Communication is fragmented and formal. It is individuals, not communities with a common purpose. Associations are by factors like college alumni, from the same state/district or such, rather than a shared journey on which people travel for a few years. 


It is going to impact career of new people coming to the industry, with less rigorous training during covid years, setting lower standards of excellence, incomplete understanding of the overall picture of why we do what we do, not being able to learn from seniors, setting them on confused path of how to get work done without understanding the right way and why it should be so, focusing on wrong incentives since they do not know what else should they care about. 


Managers are overworked since they need to spend more effort in repeating messages for different people, in different formats and follow up more to get things done since motivation and ownership is low. This stress and isolation is leading to mental health issues. Need to figure out how to fix and try whatever is in our control.   


3.

“Procurement processes are light, it is easier and quicker to start a new project and they follow light software development process”


I met someone working in Consumer Technology and was discussing the procurement, vendor management and deal consultants complicating the contracting and governance in big enterprises and how Big Tech is different. They understand software development more fundamentally and don’t have to apply the procurement processes for the larger business to the software as well. They understand the right questions to ask to govern software projects and rely on just enough engineering metrics. 


4.

“He was able to lay down the strategy and follow through with execution as well.”


We were comparing leadership styles of different leaders we had come across. We have seen leaders who are exceptionally brilliant, but neurotic in ways which makes them difficult to work with. I felt it is the basic, simple processes and ideas that are difficult to implement in large organisations and the ones who are able to cut through the red tape, keep it simple and be relentless in execution succeeds. 


5.

“Business users can create a user story directly from the Business Intelligence dashboards, complete with solution options”


Generative AI hype is at peak. I attended demos from Nvidia and Amazon and this was one of the demos - to generate a user story to improve a business process after identifying an opportunity through review of a business metric trend. It seems the number of proof of concepts being done is huge, but the number of production implementations is less. Concerns on security, scale, cost, vendor lock in and data are yet to be solved fully. It will be interesting if the experiments succeed in the next one year. 


6.

“What is the package? What is the take home per month? Is there overtime pay?” 


This was a conversation I overheard in the return flight, from two seats back. An “uncle” was quizzing a helpless seatmate who he just met, after telling her about his multi crore building projects. These status games played by the “uncles” and “aunties”, along with the lifestyle changes have made it difficult for youngsters. Aspirations of generations should change and companies shouldn’t exploit youngsters by underpaying, but the type of work, need to find a lifelong passion and finding an environment that is stimulating have taken a backseat.  

weekly notes - wk 18 / 2024

 


1.

I spent two days in bed over the weekend, with a terrible headache and cough. Even the fever bouts in the past did not flatten me totally like this for the last few years. Even though there wasn’t any fever this time, the kind of “fever dreams” of scenes that run in a loop adds to the disorientation. Recovering now. 


2.

Watched two movies in the past week. Chamkila (Hindi) - story of Amar Singh Chamkila, a Punjabi musician and his wife Amarjot Kaur, who were both killed at the peak of their popularity. Some of their songs were suggestive about extra marital affairs and drug use and they got caught up in a web of professional jealousy and militant uprising in Punjab. What is right or wrong in such - but solution wouldn’t have been shutting down voices. This was well acted, liked the music and the slice of life from Punjab.  


Watched Oppenheimer (English) finally. During the Barbenheimer, I had watched Barbie (which was boring for me), but kept this for later. I won’t be able to digest killing and maiming generations, even if the creator of that was tortured soul and had moral compunctions later. I was trying to second guess what might be whitewashing in the story. As a movie, it was an interesting watch. 


3. 

Listened to a podcast - How to discover your taste, in Ezra Klein podcast. Taste as something that stimulates and makes us connect with others in our own way. With content explosion, AI is flattening the culture and everyone's taste is averaging out. There used to be curators before who discovered unique content and people followed them - but now algorithms are curators, but it is not doing a great job in personalising, but rather amplifying our worst instincts to keep us hooked to the platforms. This may be connected with the averaging of everything - fashion, music, movies, books, politics, religion. In such times where algorithms guide us, how to discover what we like? This may warrant a longer post. 

weekly notes - wk 17 / 2024

 

1.

I took a break from work (mostly) for a week. I had felt exhausted, out of energy and was wound up so much that I was easily triggered. I feel this past week quieted the mental chatter, helped reduce the anxiety and somehow feels like the inner waves have settled on a more peaceful rhythm. I had let 12 earned leaves lapse by the end of the March, had to work on India holidays since I was on travel and might have worked myself to the point of burn out. Hope to change that this year. 


2.

I am encountering more and more “hints” or “signs” like this one which says wisdom is gained through “weathering storms in tumultuous arenas of life”. In extreme versions, it is stop reading / listening, start doing. But I hope to have a balance to apply the learnings in life and work and curate my reading / learning to match the problems I am facing at the time or to fill the known gaps. 


3. 

I am continuing to make an effort to find and read good long form articles. Few that I liked a lot this week. 


India Uncut is Amit Verma’s newsletter (host of the podcast, The Seen and the Unseen, which is probably the only regular India based podcast that I am listening to now). He is one other person that I have been following for more than a decade and who gave me the language to understand why right wing populism is on the rise across the world. His article on playing to play - “how we live our days is how we live our life” or “how we do small things is how we do big things” is a good reminder. 


Another one I am realizing more and more now - Amit’s article on male friendships, on normalizing telling male friends about loving them or missing them. I read somewhere recently about male friendships going on pause if friends move away, but when they talk again, it is as if they are starting from where they left off. But women keep track of their best friends even if they move countries, texting, calling, to maintain the context. I was talking to my daughter yesterday - she collects funny instances of her friends (even the ones who moved schools) through the year to make the next birthday collage for them (some even voluntarily sending their funny poses for her collection). 


Another rabbit hole I fell into was on Improv - this amazing skill of people who make up stuff on the fly. It started from here - someone making a freestyle rap based on a story line given to him. Read this article afterwards on brain study conducted on such artists - it seems with practice, they switch off the conscious part of the brain and let free association happen. Bookmarked a book - Impro: Improvisation and the theatre. I had found it hard to do extempore talks, unless it is on a topic that I am intimately familiar with. Over time, I am getting a little comfortable with a few quick ones, congratulating someone on their anniversary, farewell anecdotes, welcoming someone and such, but a long way to go. Something to learn. 


4. 

Watched a few movies this past week - I wrote about Perfect Days

The Teachers Lounge (German) - it was a social parody, staged in the setting of a school. How a society intent on vilifying and rooting out bad behaviour, ends up targeting and damaging reputations and gets on the psyche of everyone around. Another one where who and what is right and wrong is left to interpretation of the audience. Well acted by all around and gives food for thought.   


Laapata Ladies (Hindi) - another one which I was waiting for. I had watched director Kiran Rao’s earlier film, Dhobi Ghat and many of the films she had produced. This one did not disappoint - a story of two dulhans (newly married, veiled brides), getting switched in a long train journey by mistake and diverging further journeys of both. Liked the earthy story unlike the unreal glitz of typical bollywood movies, accents and good acting. 


5.

I didn’t listen to as many podcasts in April as previous months - many breaks in the daily walks, phone calls replacing podcasts, due to daylight savings time change, during commute to office. 


Listened to a Tim Ferris podcast this week - Martha Beck — The Amazing and Brutal Results of Zero Lies for 365 Days, How to Do a Beginner “Integrity Cleanse,” Lessons from Lion Trackers, and Novel Tactics for Reducing Anxiety (#732). Amazing energy. I was wondering if this is how new age, western gurus speak - she talked about seeing the light, out of body experiences. But the range of experiences people have, adventures, people they meet and the perspectives were interesting. Her experience after deciding not to lie in any form seems to have alienated her from many relationships. I took away that every small lie that we say to get out of social situations harms us in some way, due to the stress and tension of it. It is easier to say the truth, but I need to be better at saying it with kindness and concern for the one in the receiving end.


Listened to another - Infinite Loops podcast by Jim O’Shaughnessy, interviewing Visakan Veerasamy. It is peaceful to listen to such philosophical conversations during an evening walk/run, with the sun setting, with no rush in empty roads. Host of this podcast also is high energy, eternal optimist and as they say in this episode, somewhere intersects the frequency that I tune into.  


6.

A quote that I came across this week. Reminds me to be more intentional in relationships to be able to mirror and magnify each other’s light. 

"The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love — whether we call it friendship or family or romance — is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light."

 James Baldwin

weekly notes, wk 16 / 2024

 1.

Few of the routines like daily journal and walk/run got broken with the travel and recovery. It is a difficult time of the year, with the oppressive heat, uncertainty introduced by a confusing economic situation, many challenges for the people around me and some degradation of relationships and structures. I am planning to take a week off to rest, reset and hope to get back with more clarity and rhythm. 

2. 

Finished 7th book this year - Tomorrow, Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin. This was a different premise that I had never come across before - the world of game designers and developers. I didn’t have a computer during school and college, but had played games like road rash, doom and few such varieties of shooter, racing and such. But did not get hooked further, never owned a Wii or Playstation or Xbox. But had seen glimpses of the sophistication of newer games, parallel worlds of people and cultures of gamers. I have followed one of the legends in game development - John Carmack - for some years. This book follows a boy and a girl, both nerds, who met at the age of twelve or thirteen and follows their life and career till their forties. Korean, Japanese, American - a mix of cultural elements too. It is their story of creating games, building a company, about how people change with situations that they never might have imagined when they make childhood promises, while still some of the core remains the same. 


Story had a couple of pivot points where the main protagonists drift apart and then come back together again. It made me wish the misunderstandings between people are not based on silly premises. Since we get only this one life, why would we not fight harder to mend broken relationships. If it is broken, it should be because of deeper or meatier issues, but guess it is not often so. There were passages, especially in the stages of the story where they were figuring each other out, that I felt were beautiful - like fiction revealing the truths about the human condition. It dragged towards the end, like many good things where the creators struggle to figure out how to end it. Highly recommend this one though - for the unique characters, for the unique premise and some introspection about relationships. 

3. 

Watched two movies. October (Hindi) - picked this up since I saw someone recommend that this was a poetic film, but didn’t resonate with me. Felt contrived, forced, not serious enough to explore the complexity of characters going through traumatic life experiences. 


No way out (English) - rewatch, since I didn’t remember watching this at all earlier. Kevin Costner in his young days and Gene Hackman - it was like a pulp fiction watch, the likes which one can use to defuse some tension. 

weekly notes, wk 15 / 2024


I wanted to capture some memories, atleast so that it comes in google photos a few years later as a reminder. I was in London in the past week for work and had seen only the hotel, office and the restaurants either in the hotel or below the office. Now on my way back to the airport, in the taxi, was trying to click some photos and ten second videos to save as proof that I was here this week. 

Early greenshoots of the spring were on the trees, pink and white cherry blossoms and the flowery mat it lays down next to the trees in the parks or streets were beautiful. It was a sunny day, unlike other cloudy or rainy cold days of the past few. People were out for a run. I didn’t realize cycle lanes were so common now in the city. I had lived and worked in the UK for nearly a year, but maybe about twenty years back. I had done the touristy things in the city then - visiting the Big Ben, London eye, Buckingham palace and the likes, but don’t seem to remember anything about the city to know how much it changed. I was thinking a city that is hundreds of years old might not change in decades, but someone was remarking that in the last 10 years or so, so much new construction had come up. There were modern glass buildings with different architecture styles sitting next to heritage buildings.   


I was thinking about building codes that enforce colour palettes, keeping the Thames river clean, what might the people who go for a run in the middle of the day be doing for work and such random rabbit holes. I had put on Discover Music playlist on Spotify which brought on “Entammede Jimikki Kammal” song, thought about skipping, but then listened wondering where they got such quirky lyrics from - lyrics go like “My father stole my mother’s drop earrings, my mother drank up all my father’s brandy”. 


Then the driver decided to strike up a conversation by asking where I was travelling to. He always wanted to go to India, but couldn’t and now he has two boys aged two and three, so travelling with them now would be a nightmare on long flights. He asked if India has a lot of poor. I said inequality is rising thinking about the graph that I saw a few days back with diverging directions of economic growth of Top 1% and Top 10% going up and bottom 50% going down or flat. 


He liked the chapatis made by his neighbour, likes “curry” but can’t take so much spice saying our taste buds must have been fried long back. Just a day back a colleague was talking about being taken to a restaurant that had the best fish dishes in the area and being served such bland food that she said she wouldn’t have eaten even if she was starving. I am not sure what is the right palate, it is just the way we were trained to eat.  


I don’t remember using London taxis in the past, so this was the first trip where I used the cabs that had the one rear back seat row separated from the driver in a glass enclosure with just the opening like a ticket counter. Uber was not working for a couple of days and I had some sort of phobia of entering train stations and figuring out the tickets which actually turned out to be misplaced. Technology seems to have evolved to an extent we could just tap in with a credit card or the likes of google pay in the turnstiles to the underground and it deducts a charge based on where we get out - ticketing done easy. But sorting out the trains to the airport while dragging a bag, knowing London weather is unpredictable, was why I decided on the taxi (the same colleague I mentioned above had said London weather is like its women - unpredictable, hence a gentleman always carries an umbrella).  


In the last two days, I had a good time travelling and figuring out trains with another colleague whom one could say was rip roaringly funny. Eventually what remains in the memory on such trips is not the actual work that gets done, but the moments like these. He was self effacing, was told he appears apologetic while introducing or even talking about something he is good at, seemed not bothered by any such, making fun of himself and in his own way making the life of everyone around brighter. I am jealous of such people who don’t take themselves too seriously, dripping with effortless humour. I can’t be funny like that, but I can play the amplifier role, jamming with a lead artist, building on their lines and creating a mini band. Hence the three of us had laughed through London buses, trains and taxis for two days, talking about his brain freezing when anyone tells him directions, still leading the way, wanting to sing London Bridge is Falling Down after getting down at London Bridge station, talking in Bengali with a cab driver and a lot of deadpan humour. 


The driver wanted to know if cows had the right of way in India and whether it is a crime if we hit them accidentally on the road. I could only say I am from the south of India and it is different in south vs north. At this rate, I was wondering when he would ask if snake charmers are still around in India. Luckily our conversation shifted to my line of work, artificial intelligence, whether it is going to take away jobs soon and the dangers of it, Jaipur and why it is called pink city, when will the monsoon start, climate change, floods and such. 


I was answering questions which is not the same as making a proper conversation. I know the theory that “being interested, not interesting” is the key to good conversation, but still haven’t figured this out even now. Much later while overhearing the long conversation the strangers in front of me in the plane were having, I was thinking I should learn the skill of small talk even though it is not natural to me - the sounds to make that shows interest and encouraging the other person to continue, asking questions back (not worrying if it is prying, but knowing everyone want to talk about themselves) and connecting it to something I can offer to augment. 


I was looking at the strange people all around. This is why they say travel opens up the mind. Breaking from routines, sleeping in beds that we are not used to, eating differently and meeting new people. For example, the guy in high platform shoes which looked like a raised stage on which concerts are held, tall, wearing tight fitting red leather or spandex pants and top, walking while eating a twelve inch subway sandwich. Or the guys who look like the English version of rednecks, but with moustaches, some looking a bit like Freddy Mercury of the band Queen. Or the chubby Japanese girl who had heavy makeup on, holding a huge bunch of beautiful flowers. I wish I could take a notepad out and keep notes.


Eventually, I got dropped at a wrong terminal which I had confidently told him was the right one, forgot my jacket in his car and ended up on a long walk to another terminal. Just the right end to a trip which seemed like a simulation, not reality, where I kept forgetting different things - like the glasses I forgot in a Uber cab which I managed to get back a day later since the guy was really helpful in coordinating how to get that back to me or the manner in which I rushed through the ticketing, packing, all at the last minute. No major disasters other than two sleepless nights in Mumbai airport in just one week and three days of non stop headache that I am trying to shake off. I hope the mini sacrifices and the trouble will be worth it this year. 

aspen, blinding light

I took a day off today, just to avoid leaves expiring by month end. It was a relaxing day and had two instances of curious connections. I di...