disappointed

One of those days where disappointment hits hard

When the clock that usually runs frantically, slows down

Disappointed with futility of lot of endeavors

How we convince ourselves that we are being useful

How we convince others that what we are doing is important

How we are all able to do more, but don’t  

 

Disappointed in leaders who promise hope and bright future

Talk a big game, higher purpose, incomprehensible philosophies

Because that is what they were supposed to do

To move people, bring about change

 

Disappointed to give in naively, believe in new fads

Disappointed in mediocrity, mine and others around

In doing something only until the tension builds

In doing something, only to honor the duty than because I believe

Disappointed in the charades, even when everyone knows

And plays along with it, not being able to change a thing

 

None of this is important, in larger scheme of things

Petty worries, irrelevant expectations, blown up only in mind

Knowing all that, disappointed in not being able to suppress

Knowing life is all these moments, good follows bad, wait out the bad

Though some say all this was part of the learning

Wouldn’t change a thing if we do all of this again

Isn’t regret a valid emotion too?

 

—————————————————————————————

Can’t write poems and couldn’t read it also, but one of the things I haven’t given up yet. Trying to read these days – subscribed to a poem a day. But this one just came out this way, on the way back from office, putting it out in its just born form. This is more like how we write powerpoint, nothing in full sentences. A slow day. But right before I reached home, RJs in FM was playing a game, asking people to repeat a dialog from a classic movie, on how to make chicken curry. Even though I don’t know about that being a vegetarian (even though I don’t look like one), it kind of reaffirmed why we mallus are always making fun. Of everything, of our politicians, religion and ourselves. Then they were talking about why Kasaragod mallus love more honestly, how Kannur mallus love so truly (irony since they are the most violent when it comes to politics, but maybe because they love so fiercely) compared to us in Trivandrum, who keep people at an arm’s length. All this within a small sliver of land, in a corner of India – happily living away, being all important – brought a smile finally..