feedback

Few questions that I struggled with today - 

- There are people who can't seem to figure out why they are not effective in their job, in spite of task level feedback given which get narrower by the day. They are not evil, not an issue with the attitude, no lack of effort. Conclusion eventually is that it is lack of capability and intelligence, but how do we communicate this in a way that don't hurt them? 

- Many of us know what is wrong with us (and don't know some of our flaws that are apparent to others) and are trying to improve ourselves continuously. But what if this self awareness is not there and even the feedback is tuned out, not heard or rationalized as issue with something external? 

- If we don't communicate or sugarcoat, they will continue in similar jobs and assignments, will never change and will never progress and get frustrated in the process. Effective help is to find another profession where they can do better. But we may not have time or resources to do that and it might be already late for them to make a career change. Jack Welch's "Straight from the gut" says we should let them go which might be a favor to them so that they can find out something else that works better for them. But is that just a rationalization to avoid the guilt?

- It could be a Nature vs Nurture problem. But to nurture someone and make a difference to them, do they need to meet a threshold of competence?